The Bucket List
by ashleigh22
Summary: Aspiring novelist Bella Swan has her world thrown into turmoil when she is diagnosed with cancer. A hot nurse who is proving to be irresistible despite Bella's desperation to draw boundaries, mixed with four crazy friends and an unusual bucket list can only mean one thing; trouble with a capital T. Rated M for Lemons!
1. Chapter 1

**I have been suffering from a bad case of writer's block whilst trying to finish the next chapter of my fanfic "Let Love Bleed Red", so I decided to take a break & work on a new project.**

**This story was just a bunch of old drafts & ideas that I had previously toyed around with, but I feel like I have a good plan and better sense of direction with this fanfic, so I will be working on this from now on.**

**All Twilight characters are human, pairings from the books/movies are the same here.**

**Please review if you have the time, reviews literally make my day.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 **

Cancer; it's a scary word. When the doctor is looking at you with sorrowful eyes and those six little letters escape from his lips, the world begins to crash violently around you. Sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel for those who have been diagnosed with this, but for others, it's a death sentence.

And that is what it was for me; a death sentence. With a vast family history of breast cancer, and the unfortunate endings that came with it, it did not look promising. I knew I would meet my demise at the hands of cancer, and I tried to accept that.

Three months ago, there was a lump. It turned out that this lump was a malignant tumour made up of cancer cells that continued to multiply which invaded my nearby organs and tissues. One day, I was Bella Swan – aspiring novelist. The next, I was Bella Swan- breast cancer victim. I felt like I had lost my identity, I had lost myself.

Today, after having a section of my breast removed a few weeks previous, I began radiotherapy treatment which aimed to stop the cancerous cells from spreading.

Grasping at my close friend Alice's hand, we sat in the waiting room of the hospital as I waited to hear my name being called. I peered around the room, looking at the women who were victims to the same life destroying disease that I was. Some were sitting alone, others with their loved ones, and I wondered about them. We were all labelled as cancer victims, but who were they really? What were they known as before their diagnosis? I focused on an older woman sitting with her hands on her lap, swirling her wedding ring around her finger as her husband cradled her with one arm. As a writer, I liked to people watch and create small stories in my head about who I thought they were, so it brought some form of normality when I applied it to the situation I was currently in. I imagined this old woman as being a retired kindergarten teacher; she had the warm and inviting face that most kindergarten teachers did. She would have a large family, six kids and twelve grandchildren, to be precise. She would spend her time in the kitchen, baking cookies with her grandkids, making dinner on a Sunday evening for the whole family who would visit. This woman would look at her husband with the same love and admiration as the day the first met.

I smiled softly, noting that it was the first time I had smiled in months.

But the smile was quickly wiped from my face as a slightly large nurse with her hair tied back too tightly called my name.

"Isabella Swan?" she announced

Alice squeezed my hand and expressed a sympathetic smile as I rose up from my chair, making my presence known to the nurse.

"Follow me to Room 324, please."

I nodded at her politely before being escorted down the corridor to the assigned room. My hands began to shake slightly as I was overwhelmed with nerves. I was so scared, but I had to be strong. Known as a 'tough cookie,' I felt that I had to live up to the reputation given to me by others.

After changing into the white polyester gown issued by the nurse, I lay down on the bed and shut my eyes as I waited for another nurse to prep me, taking in a deep breath as if it would somehow help me to prepare for what was about to happen.

A few moments later, I peeked open my eyes as I heard the door to the room open, followed by foot-steps. My breath caught in my throat as I noticed a male nurse walk through the door. Never in my life had I seen someone so attractive. He had soft pale skin that resembled fresh snow. His skin tone emphasised his emerald green eyes that held a natural sparkle, and messy bronze hair fell slightly over his forehead, tousled at the front. He was effortlessly perfect, managing to somehow make hospital issued scrubs look good.

"Good morning, Miss Swan. My name is Edward Cullen and I have been assigned to carry out your treatment for the next 4 weeks. How are you feeling today?" he asked.

Still mesmerised by his appearance, it took me a few moments to pull myself together and form a sentence to reply with.

"Call me Bella. Under these circumstances, I'm not sure such formality is needed. And I'm not exactly sure how I'm feeling today, what do people normally reply in this situation when you ask?

He smiled politely, "Alright, Bella; well, most people lie, to both me and themselves, I believe. They say they're okay, but I always know it's far from the truth."

"If you're aware that they're lying, what do you reply?" I asked

"I always say that I'm glad to hear it, and try to give them a reassuring smile. They don't need to be told by some nurse that in actual fact, they're not okay. I think people like to say out loud that they're fine as a sort of coping mechanism." He flipped through my file as he spoke, occasionally looking up to meet my eyes.

"It seems like you really care about your patients, more than most medical staff do." I commented.

He moved round to the side of the bed I was lying on, beginning the examination that had to be completed before commencing with the treatment.

"I care about all of my patients, sometimes a little too much."

"It's nice to know that your nurse cares, I think it would be comforting to some people to know that they're not just another patient in the hospital, that they matter. All of this can be very demoralising, you know." I replied, looking over in his direction as he took my arm to check my blood pressure.

We continued to chat as he completed my examination and prep, occasionally pausing to note down my vitals on the chart. I watched as he spoke, still slightly mesmerised by his appearance. It was nice to have a small distraction helping to take my mind off that fact I was about to have high-energy beams of radiation focused onto the cancerous tissue in my right breast.

"Okay, Bella. We're ready to begin, is there anything you would like to ask before we start?" he asked.

I shook my head before he gathered my chart and the equipment he had used during my examination, and walked towards the door. Before leaving the room, he paused and turned round to face me.

"Such a pretty name for a pretty woman." He bit his lip after the sentence left his mouth, probably wondering whether he had stepped over a nurse/patient boundary.

"I'm sorry if-"

I cut him off before he finished his sentence, "Thank you." I smiled, slightly embarrassed yet secretly thrilled to receive the compliment. After all, I didn't care whether he said it to make me feel better or if he genuinely meant it; it was the first genuine smile that had graced my face in months.

He left the room swiftly after, closing the door behind him as I braced myself, ready for the treatment to begin.

* * *

Alice and Emmett came round in the evening with Chinese food, cupcakes and a few of my favourite movies. Although it was not our typical idea of a 'fun' night, I was too tired and quite sore from the treatment to leave my house. It took a lot out of me to just walk up and down the stairs, never mind head out for a night on the town. But I was glad of their company, savouring every moment I had with my two best friends.

"How did your first session of the treatment go yesterday, Bells? You didn't really say much in the car ride on the way home." Alice asked as she began to empty out the cartons of Chinese food onto plates, slapping Emmett's hands away as he tried to pick up the noodles that spilled from the cartons with his hands. He pouted almost in a child-like way, making Alice roll her eyes mockingly and kiss him on the cheek. Being brother and sister, you would think they would have been similar in some ways but they couldn't be more opposite if they tried.

"It went fine, I don't really know what to say in all honesty. They zapped me with radiation beams so I suppose it went as well as it could." I mocked. I was always so uncomfortable talking about anything to do with this disease, even around my best friends and they knew me too well to not realise. I hated being a 'victim', I was too proud to have people feeling pitiful towards me.

Emmett quickly tried to lighten the mood, sensing the uncomfortable vibe that I was clearly projecting, "You know we're here for you. And the best way for me to show you my unconditional love and support is by supplying you with Chinese food, cupcakes and every John Hughes movie ever made." He laughed.

"You keep doing that, Emmett. I'll show it too by purchasing a ton of cute but extremely comfortable outfits to wear around the house." Alice added, smugly.

I rolled my eyes, laughing at the pair of them. I was truly blessed to have friends like Alice & Emmett, not everyone was so lucky. The support that I had received from them both was indescribable, it was like they were my life support machine, ironically. They kept me going, constantly trying to think of ways to make me see the good things in life; encouraging me to continue writing and doing the things that brought me joy in life. They encouraged me to continue living my life, and that was all I wanted to do. I wanted to make the most of the time I had left, whether that was several months or several years.

And because of that, I knew that my latest idea would receive 100% support from both of them.

"I appreciate everything you guys do for me, but there is something I would rather you helped me with." I stated, causing them both to pause what they were doing and move over to the sofa where I was resting.

"What is it , Bells?" Alice asked, clearly intrigued.

"Anything." Added Emmett.

Reaching over to the small coffee table at the side of the sofa, I opened the drawer to grab a notepad and pen, trying my best to ignore the pain that pulsed furiously on my right side. Alice and Emmett squinted their eyes in confusion, unsure of what I was doing as I scribbled a heading at the top of the page before flipping the notepad over to show them what I had wrote.

"The bucket list?" Alice quizzed, slightly puzzled.

"I don't know how long I have left here, I could have months or years, but if I go, I don't want to have any regrets. There are so many things I've always wanted to do but just never got round to doing. I don't care how tired I am with this treatment, I want to experience everything. Since I was diagnosed, I feel like I have been slowly but surely losing who I am, losing my identity, and I want to get it back."

Alice smiled at me sweetly, before reaching up and stroking my hair.

"Then let's create this bucket list."


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, thank you to **SunflowerFran** &** gyebi joyce9** for reviewing the first chapter. Reviews make my day so it is greatly appreciated.

I'm happy with the direction I'm taking this story in; Chapters 3 & 4 have been drafted, I'm just working on perfecting them at the moment!

Please review if you have time and make my day.

**Chapter 2**

_Number 1 – Take a Dance class_

Co-ordination had never been a strong point for me; I was the friend who had the two left feet and only ever danced when I had a little too much to drink on a night out but that's why the first thing on my bucket list was to take a dance class. I want to be pushed out of my comfort zone and at least _try _to master the basics of one type of dance A few weeks after creating my bucket list, the side effects of my treatment began to hit me violently, I was so tired and sore that I had to postpone beginning to complete my bucket list. Eventually after my body was used to the treatment, Alice signed me up for Salsa dancing classes in a local dance studio where she takes her ballet class and my first lesson was tonight, only a few hours after my next dose of radiation was administered.

I lay on the same uncomfortable hospital bed as I had for the past 2 weeks, being checked over by usual nurse after I had received another round of radiotherapy. I was used to the this now, in a routine of driving here at 10am, waiting for the nurse at reception to call my name, making my way down the depressing corridors that were tainted with pain and suffering, trying to ignore the same clinical smell that was hard to stomach. I was also used to being greeted by the nurse administering my treatment; Edward Cullen.

We had developed somewhat of a friendship over the past two weeks, moving our relationship from doctor/patient to friends. Every time he entered room 324, his smile would instantly brighten up the room. We discussed everything from books and movies to music and art; I found our conversations to be soothing, taking my mind off the fact that I was actually there to be treated, rather than to see him. Somehow he was able to pull real joy and laughter from inside me, something which I thought I no longer had and I felt eternally grateful that there was someone who could do that for me at this point in my life.

"So what are you plans for today, once you're finished here?" he asked with his back to me, scribbling something down in my chart as I changed out of the hospital issued polyester gown.

I laughed slightly under my breath, pulling my jeans past my hips and pulling the button through the hole as the material met in the middle.

"It's a long story."

"Now I'm intrigued, care to elaborate?" he quizzed curiously. I could see the side of his cheeks push upwards as he grinned.

"This may sound lame, but I created a bucket list after my first radiotherapy session. There's so many things I want experience and achieve that I just haven't gotten round to. My excuse was that there's always tomorrow, but now, I can't be certain that tomorrow will come so today, I'm taking number one off my list."

He turned around to face me, pausing for a moment before smiling warmly, "I don't think its lame, I think it's somewhat beautiful in a sense."

My cheeks flushed red and I returned the smile.

"So what is the first thing on your list?" he asked

"How about I tell you tomorrow, and I can tell you all about it."

"Deal."

* * *

_Don't be a coward, Bella._

I repeated the phrase consistently in my head as I pulled up beside the dance studio where my salsa class was being held. Gripping the steering wheel, I took a deep breath, expanding my lungs as far as they would go before exhaling sharply and opening the car door.

My legs shook as I walked across the street towards my destination, unsteady on my feet from the heeled shoes and nervous disposition that suddenly ran throughout my whole body. I tried to pull myself together and shake off the nerves, reminding myself that I _had _to do this, I _had_ to remove number one from my list.

Walking through the door and into Studio 1 where the class was being held, I plastered a smile on my face, trying to make it look as genuine as I possibly could. I peered around the room, and when my eyes landed on _him_, my breath caught in my throat.

"Bella?" I heard him call as he noticed me too, making his way over to where I standing.

"Hi," I smiled nervously before continuing with my sentence, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Likewise. I actually assist the instructor here. This is my mother Esme's studios, she always thought I was the best dancer in the family, so I'm forced into helping out here." He rolled his eyes as he chuckled.

Nothing surprised me about Edward any more; as well as being good at his profession, artistic, intelligent and of course, extremely attractive, he could also dance. I analysed him as he spoke; I was so used to seeing Edward in his scrubs every day that it felt almost abnormal seeing him wearing actual clothes. I mentally noted how good he looked in dark trousers and a shirt that was just tight enough to see the definition of his muscular arms.

"I had no idea. This is what number one on my bucket list is, but if I'm completely honest, I'm actually a little nervous." I laughed, my voice shaky from the nerves.

"There's no need to be nervous. How about I partner up with you, and we can dance together?" he asked as he held out his hand, waiting for me to accept his offer.

I gasped slightly as I felt Edward's fingers curl round mine and pull me towards the middle of the studio where people were partnering up. As the music began and Esme called out instructions along with simple moves to follow, my two left feet let me down as always and I messed up the first part of the routine.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible dancer." I mumbled, becoming increasingly flustered the more times I messed up the routine.

"Don't put yourself down, it takes time and patient to perfect the routines. The main thing is that you're experiencing it; kicking it off your bucket list. You need to enjoy it though, too." He smiled down at me as I peered up into his eyes; looking at them was intoxicating, sucking you in so deep that it was difficult to pull yourself out and back into reality.

Throughout the rest of the class, not once did he break our gaze, staring back at me just as intently. My eyes only ever left his to watch the way he moved his body, his hips would swirl and his feet were completely in sync with the rest of him, allowing him to nail each dance step perfectly. Somehow, as the class progressed and we continued to dance together, I went from forcing myself to try and enjoy the experience, to having fun and feeling _free_. Whenever Edward spun me around or my un-co-ordinated feet caused me to stumble, a genuine laugh that matched his escaped my lips.

He pulled me in close and placed one hand firmly on my waist, sending shivers throughout my body. My heart raced furiously and with each crash against my chest, he somehow became more and more beautiful. I was almost positive he was about to lean in and kiss me until we were tugged out from our own little world and back into reality as Esme announced the end of the class.

Although our gaze had broken, his hand still remained intertwined with mine. Running his free hand through his tousled bronze hair, he bit his lip before turning to me.

"Would you like to grab a cup of coffee? There's a little coffee shop at the end of the street."


	3. Chapter 3

**I know the first three chapters haven't included a lot of Edward, but it hasn't been needed… However, I think the next chapter will be in Edward's POV, plus we'll see a **_**lot**_** more of him in upcoming chapters.**

**Please review if you have time, reviews totally make my day! If there's anything you would like to see happen at some point in the story, let me know & I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere.**

**Oh, & there's a little lemon at the end of this chapter… enjoy.**

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**Chapter 3**

_______Number 1 – Take a Dance Class_  
Number 2 – Learn a foreign language

"I want the juicy details, come on, Bella! Alice wouldn't tell me anything!"

Rose sat beside me on the couch, spooning ice cream from the tub of double chocolate she had brought over to share. I was well aware that the ice cream was just an excuse for her to come over and interrogate me about my coffee 'date' with Edward last night.

"How many times do I have to tell you? We drank coffee and chatted for a while. That's it!" I replied.

"There has to be more. Touching? First kiss? Quick romp in the car?" she enquired.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, tuning out the movie that seemed to buzz monotonously in the background. My mind began to wander, thinking about what it would have been like if I actually had a 'quick romp' – as Rosalie put it – with Edward in the backseat of his car. I imagined just how good he must look without all that clothing…

I shook my head quickly as If I was shaking those thoughts from my mind.

"Rose, I promise you, we spoke for hours and drank coffee. Nothing else."

The look of disappointment that washed over her face was almost comical. She sighed before spooning another scoop of ice cream from the tub and straight into her mouth.

"What did you guys talk about then?" she asked

"Everything. .. Books, music, family, friends, likes and dislikes."

"I talked about my bucket list too. In fact, he offered to help me with number two. He's cooking dinner for me on Friday before he helps."

"Is this a blossoming romance?" she giggled childishly.

I sighed, thinking how to word my next sentence without sounding somewhat pathetic.

"If things were different, then it could possibly have been. But I can't be in a relationship with someone when I'm practically a ticking time bomb." I replied, my voice shaking slightly.

"We don't know that, you could be around for another-"

I cut her off before she could finish her sentence, noticing the pain and desperation in her voice as she tried to convince both of us that I would get to live for a 'normal' amount of time. These conversations usually consisted of Rose trying to convince me that my awfully unlucky family history of deaths by cancer didn't mean that I would meet my end at the hands of this terrible disease, lots of tears and an infinite amount of ice cream.

"Let's not talk about this, we know how it ends; crying and lots more ice cream. Since you only brought over one tub of double chocolate and we're out of tissues, we are not adequately prepared for such a discussion again."

My attempt to lighten the mood worked slightly as Rose began to chuckle softly.

"Give this a chance with Edward, you deserve some form of happiness, Bella." She softly stated.

"Let's think rationally for a second here. Even if I thought pursuing a relationship with Edward was a good idea, what makes you think _he _would want to be romantically involved with me? I'm pretty sure guys don't look for a girl who has 'terminally ill' as one of her traits." I sighed.

"He seems to be interested, Bella. He took you for coffee and chatted for hours, you both have long conversations during your treatment sessions, and now he's offered to cook you dinner at his house and help you with number two on your bucket list. If he's not interested, then what would you call all of that?"

"I would call 'all of that' meeting a new friend who shares mutual interests." I replied sharply.

Rosalie bit her lip, obviously stopping whatever was about to come out of her mouth next. She knew she couldn't win this won.

I turned towards the TV, grabbing the remote and turning up the volume. We both stared blankly at the screen, pretending to watch what was left of the movie as we scooped more ice cream from the tub.

I mulled over the short discussion between myself and Rosalie; if things really were different, I would have given it a shot if he reciprocated interest in that way. We shared so many interests and had a lot of common ground, not to mention the fact he was incredibly talented in so many different areas, and unbelievable attractive. But things weren't different, I was sick and he had his full life ahead of him. He made my treatment sessions easier, and it was nice to be able to discuss timeless books and classical music with someone but in all honesty, I was just glad to have him as a friend.

* * *

Miraculously, I managed to follow the directions Edward had given me to his place, perfectly.

I parked my car outside his house before getting out and walking up to the main door. I tugged gently at my hair, pulling my loose curls to the front and running my hands down the front of my clothes, smoothing them out before knocking on the door.

His face lit up as he opened the door, greeting me with his usual dazzling smile and pulling me in to a warm embrace.

"Hi, Edward."

"Bella, so glad you could make it. Come on in." he stated after the embrace, gesturing for me to come inside.

"Make yourself at home, dinner is just about ready."

I suddenly felt very self -conscious as I noticed his eyes scanning me from head to toe before smiling gently. Before I knew it, my cheeks began to flush red.

The first thing I noticed as I made my way to his living room was the extravagant bookcase resting against the furthest away wall. I walked towards it, scanning over all the books with my eyes. My hands traced over the binding of one particular book before removing it from the bookcase.

"Jane Eyre, good choice." Said Edward, startling me.

I turned round to see Edward grinning as he placed two full plates gently on the glass dining table already set.

Quickly placing the book back on the shelf it was resting on, I walked towards the table before sitting down.

"It's one of my favourites." I replied.

"I know, I remember you telling me." He remarked, impressing me slightly.

"This looks delicious, you really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble."

"It was no trouble at all. I love cooking, especially for a beautiful woman such as yourself."

I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks for the second time tonight as I peered up at him through my lashes.

The conversation flowed easily throughout the course of dinner, just as I thought it would. As usual, our discussions were mainly centred around books and music. It was refreshing to talk to someone who could challenge my views on the great arts of the world. I loved Alice, Rose & Emmett dearly, but if our conversations were not about shopping, sports or nights out, they weren't all that interested.

"It's fascinating, you know, to meet someone like you. Normally it's either brains or beauty, but with you, it's both." He commented once we had finished clearing away the remnants of our delicious dinner.

"You're such a charmer." I chided, trying to make a joke out of his comment.

Secretly, his comment sent butterflies flying viciously through my stomach but I didn't want to acknowledge them. I reminded myself of the conversation I previously had with Rosalie, and thought it best to change the subject.

"What? It's true!" he replied, winking at me.

In that moment, I could have pushed him towards the couch and begin to tear his clothes off, but I composed myself.

_Anything more than friends is a bad idea, Bella._ I repeated the sentence multiple times in my head before turning round to face him.

"So, can we get started on getting number two off my bucket list?" I asked, changing the subject.

The look on his face changed slightly, but I couldn't read it well enough to figure out which emotion it was portraying.

"Of course, I did promise to teach you the Spanish language, after all."

I nodded in agreement as we moved towards the couch. He grabbed a notepad and pen and handed it to me before we sat down so I was able to take notes, facing each other.

We began working through the basics, going over simple phrases that were apparently easy to master. Hearing him speak in a foreign language so effortlessly was strangely a turn on, but yet again, I had to shake those thoughts from my head and focus on the task at hand.

"Let's use the scenario that we were on vacation in Spain, and we were at a restaurant."

I nodded in reply, watching his lips as he repeated a phrase a few times.

"Una mesa para dos por favor, which means 'a table for two, please.'"

"Una mesa para dos for favor." I repeated after him.

"Perfect. Your pronunciation is on point."

"Now try, "Quiero pollo asado y patatas con una guarnicion de ensalada. The phrase means, 'I want roast chicken and potatoes with a side of salad."

I repeated the next phrase, and yet again gained approval from Edward. We continued practicing how to order different dishes and drinks.

"Usted es la chica mas hermosa que he visto en mi vida."

"What does that mean?" I asked curiously.

He bit his lip and ran one had through his tousled bronze hair.

"It means, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

As he replied, he brushed his thumb over my cheekbone. Shivers ran down my spine, and before I could let my head banish the feelings from my heart, my lips crashed against his.

He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me on top of him as I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue entrance. His hands moved down to squeeze my ass and he gently bit my bottom lip, causing me to moan slightly. Straddling his lap, I grinded against him and began pulling his shirt apart, his neck and exposed chest inviting me to devilishly bite and suck lightly. I noticed how defined his chest was, perfectly sculpted and toned.

_Even better than I imagined, _I thought.

"Fuck…" he moaned quietly, obviously enjoying my teeth nibbling against his body.

I gasped as he picked me up and began walking towards what I presumed was the bedroom, impressively tearing my dress off as he moved forwards. He roughly pushed me up against the nearest solid surface, causing the mirror behind me to rattle. My head tilted and my hands gripped his hair as he kissed aggressively down my neck and over my chest. We eventually fell on the bed and he began to run his hand up my thigh before placing desperate kisses down my stomach. Once the remaining clothes were discarded of, a moan instinctively escaped from my lips as grabbed my right leg and pulled it around him before entering me.

My left leg then replicated my right, my legs wrapped tightly around him as he began to pick up the pace, causing the headboard to shake furiously as his thrusts became more rapid. My heart began to race and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't help the loud moans of pleasure that escaped from my lips. I couldn't get enough, I wanted our bodies to be closer. After an incredible amount of time, I pushed him onto his back and straddled his lap before moving in a rhythm that matched his. My nails dug into his chest and hot flashes soared throughout my body; never had I experienced such pleasure during sex. He pulled my top half towards him, my breasts pressed hard against his chest as he gripped one arm around my back and his free hand on my ass. I let out a loud moan that matched his, burying my face into his neck as we both climaxed simultaneously.

Panting deeply, I rolled off him and tried to catch my breath.

His arms wrapped tightly around my body and I rested my head on his chest.

I felt like I was in total bliss.

* * *

The sunlight peaked through the gap in curtains and the rays landed on my face, causing me to wake up abruptly.

A small smile graced my face as I turned over to see the most infallible man ever to exist lying there next to me.

His eyes peaked open, and a flashed a cheeky grin at me.

"Good morning, beautiful." his voice was raspy, but I found it hot.

As I was about to reciprocate the smile and reply, my brows furrowed slightly and I ran my hand over my face.

_Fuck…_

Did that really happen last night? Was I really so stupid? What happened to just being friends? I was a damn ticking time bomb, and we had only known each other for a few weeks. Edward was my _nurse_, my _friend. _I stepped over the line when I threw my lips against his.

I just couldn't help myself, he was simply irresistible in every way.

I felt the weight on the bed shift as he leaned towards me, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I couldn't bring myself to turn around and look at him; this was all a big mistake.

Quickly moving from the bed, I began to scurry around the room, looking for my clothes.

"What are you doing?" he asked alarmingly.

"I have to go, this was a mistake." I replied, trying to steady my voice as it began to crack.

"What? Why?" the tone in his voice changed to a tone that I hadn't heard him use before.

I forced myself to look up at his face as he followed me whilst I pulled my clothes on, moving towards the front door before grabbing my keys from the coffee table.

The hurt and confusion on his face was heart-breaking. I felt like such a heartless bitch for leaving, but I had to.

There was nothing more I wanted than to get back into to bed and lie beside him forever, absorbing all his perfections and imperfections but I couldn't. I couldn't allow us to become anything more than friends, I was trying to prevent the heartbreak that would ultimately happen at the end.

"I'm sorry." I replied, the only thing I was able to muster up.

I bolted to my car, ignoring Edward's strained and confused voice that called after me, causing the tears to spill from my eyes.

I had truly fucked up… _big time_…


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm aware that I mentioned this chapter would probably be in Edward's P.O.V, but I just felt that it was more fitting to be in Bella's for this part. I wanted to clearly get across everything that is going through her mind. You'll get lots of fluff & a few lemons throughout the 'honeymoon' period, don't worry!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it makes me very happy knowing your thoughts on this Fanfic.**

**Also, thank you to my new beta reader SunflowerFran; your opinions and comments, along with the time you take to read through the chapters, is greatly appreciated.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Even though everything in my life had always been difficult, I had accepted  
whatever it threw at me gracefully. I wasn't the 'martyr' type; I never complained and eventually I learned how to deal with it.

But for some reason, this situation had gotten the best of me.

Seeking refuge in the form of pillows and blankets, I had spent the whole of yesterday in bed, hiding from the world under my duvet, It wasn't often I felt sorry for myself, but for now, I had made an exception.

Irresponsibly, I had deliberately missed my radiotherapy session yesterday, finding myself unable to face Edward without having anywhere to escape. The hospital had already called countless times and I knew that I had to stop being so childish and suck it up and attend my treatment session today.

Missing a session of my treatment wasn't the only irresponsible thing I had done this week; I had also slept with Edward. I had battled with Rosalie, making it clear that Edward and I were strictly friends, but evidently, I had fucked that up.

Of course, in any other situation, I would gladly have become involved with him, but with my current condition, I couldn't subject any man to this; especially a man as wonderful as Edward. I had told myself that there was no point in becoming romantically involved with anyone. The romance would more than likely be short lived, and when I was snatched away from this world, I'd leave behind a broken hearted man and a relationship that didn't have time to reach its peak.

And it was true; that would be the tragic outcome that was hard to comprehend.

_So why did I sleep with Edward when I knew all of this?_

This was the question that would not leave my mind, no matter how hard I tried to remove it from my thought process. It was imprinted in my brain, forcing me to try and produce a solid answer.

I knew why I had done it, but I just did not want to accept my answer. My hot new nurse was just too damn irresistible. Despite his un-natural flawlessness, I was not only attracted to his looks, but to his mind. In the short space of time I had known this man, we had clicked.

And for me, that was the hardest part to stomach.

I had met someone who was attractive to me in mind, body and spirit, someone who embodied everything I loved. But despite this, I couldn't be with him. I couldn't be selfish enough to have someone love me and then leave them.

Yes, I had slept with him, and in my heart, I wanted to it again and again.

But I couldn't.

I wanted everything he had to offer, but I couldn't take it. That was the harsh reality.

Rolling over in my bed and sighing, I peeked up at my phone, noting that I only had a few hours before my next radiotherapy session started when all of a sudden, Rose and Alice burst through my door.

"Well, at least we know she's alive." Rose screeched, throwing her hands up in the air as she scowled at me.

"Do you realise how worried we've been? You must have a crazy amount of missed calls for Rose and me!" Alice's high-pitched voice was so loud, my ears began to ring.

Before I could reply, tears began to spill from my eyes; tiny droplets falling from my cheeks and covering the pillows with tiny splashes of salty water. The anger radiating from both of them quickly dissolved and they ran to my side, concern crossing their faces.

I began from the beginning, telling them what had happened between Edward and me, and how I had bolted the morning after. Desperately, I tried to explain everything that was furiously circling around inside my head.

After I managed to choke out the story in between sobs and ragged breathing, Rosalie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Bella, did you ever stop and think how Edward feels about this situation?"

I peered up at her, my eyes squinting in confusion.

"What do you mean? I muttered.

"I mean, he knows you have cancer; he's your nurse for Christ's sake. You keep repeating phrases like 'I can't be so selfish' and 'It's not fair to him to be with me' but have you ever stopped to consider that he doesn't care about how much time he has _left_ with you? Maybe he cares about making the most of the time he _has_ with you. I'm pretty sure that a grown man like him knows what he's getting himself into."

I paused, processing Rosalie's words as best I could.

She did have a point; I thought by trying to pull back from Edward that I was doing him a favour, but in all reality, I never really thought to stop and ask him what _he_ thought.

"Bella, you're also looking at this so negatively. What if you give up on this whole thing with Edward, but you end up living a normal life? Before you interrupt me, I know what the chances are, but you could be a living miracle. You could be around for another forty years, and those forty years could have been spent with Edward if it were to work out for you both." Alice interjected.

Staying silent for a few moments, I thought about the advice they had both given me. I wasn't saying that they were correct; I still felt that becoming involved with Edward would be walking on dangerous ground, but I hadn't stayed long enough to discuss any of this with him. If I hadn't run out the front door yesterday morning, maybe we could have discussed all the concerns I had like mature adults.

I pulled my duvet to my left and slid out from underneath before moving from the bed.

"Where are you going?" asked Alice.

"I'm not saying you're both right, I'm still not sure Edward and I are a good idea, but I have to talk to him. I have a treatment session in two hours; I owe him an apology and an explanation." I replied before grabbing a clean towel and heading towards the shower.

"I'll drive." Rose shouted after me as I walked into the bathroom, preparing myself for the painful few hours that were ahead of me; and I wasn't referring to the actual treatment itself.

* * *

I anxiously waited for Edward to enter the room where my treatment would be administered. On the drive over, I had insufficient time to perfect exactly what I wanted to say to Edward, but I had managed to refine the gist of how it would go.

I played with my fingers nervously until he finally walked into Room 324.

"Miss Swan." He greeted me, not even glancing my way as he entered the room.

"Edward, I want to expl-"

"There is no need; let's just get you prepped for treatment." He cut me off, his reply so sharp I felt my heart wince.

"No, you need to listen to me." I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

He sat his clipboard down before sighing and turning around to face me. His emerald eyes were tainted black, the usual sparkle missing. I couldn't help but feel that I had stolen that sparkle the moment I picked up my clothes and left.

"First of all, I'm so sorry."

"There's really no-"

"Please, don't speak until you've heard what I have to say." This time, I cut _him_ off, desperate for him to hear the explanation that I was slightly scared to give.

"Friday night was probably one of the best nights of my life. I've never met anyone like you, Edward. You're intelligent, creative, talented, and cultured, not to mention that you are probably the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on. We've only known each other a short span of time, yet I feel that we've instantly clicked."

I paused, taking a sharp inhale of breath before continuing.

"But I'm terrified. I told myself that we couldn't be anything more than friends, because it wasn't fair to you. I imagined that a romantic relationship with you would be perfect, and then I'd be taken from you, leaving you heartbroken and alone. I am scared that I'd be robbed of a life that I can see myself having with you—a wonderful life.

"I'm sick, Edward. You've seen my charts and read my files. You know it doesn't end well for the women in my family who have been diagnosed. I'm a ticking time bomb, and I don't want you to be subjected to all of this. You have a full life ahead of you, a wonderful life; I'm a lot of effort and hassle, I would weigh you down with my problems and I just don't think it's fair."

"So that's why I ran off yesterday morning. I had tried so hard to keep up the false pretence that we could just be _friends_, but when I woke up beside you, I was so happy, so content. And that's when I realised what had happened, and I felt so guilty and so selfish…"

My voice began to break as I reached the end of my sentence. There was a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart that I couldn't ignore any longer. I held my face in my hands as I bowed my head, trying to hide the tears that yet again spilled from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

That's when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I tensed instantly when I felt his touch. He removed my hand from my face and placed a finger under my chin, pulling my face up so my eyes could meet his.

Without saying a word, he leaned down towards me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I understand what you're saying, Bella, but I want to be with you. Whether we're given a few months or few years together, that's how I want to spend them; _together. _You said earlier that we instantly clicked, and you were right. I don't think about anything else but you."

He cupped my cheek with his palm as he gently stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

"I'm all in, Bella. I want to be the reason that you can still smile, even though you have to deal with this shitty situation."

"I don't want you to get hurt, Edward. I'm a ticking-" I replied.

"A ticking time bomb; yes, you've said that already. I don't care, I just want to be with you and make you happy."

"I'll repeat this again, just so it's concrete in your mind.

I'm all in, Bella Swan.

I want you.

And everything that comes along with you, we will deal with it together."


	5. Chapter 5

**I feel like you all deserve a drama free chapter filled with fluff & lemons before the tear jerking chapters come along.**

**So, enjoy the nice chapters while they last!**

**Also, this Fanfic broke 600 views last night; I can't thank all of my lovely readers enough.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta reader SunflowerFran for helping my words flow well, you are awesome.**

**Review if you have time, I love to hear what you guys think.**

**Chapter 5**

_Number 3 – Ride a rollercoaster_

Today signified the last day of my treatment. As it was one of the rare days that I didn't feel so lethargic, we decided to celebrate and use this time to complete number three on my bucket list; ride a rollercoaster. Luckily, Edward was able to take the afternoon off after my morning session due to all the overtime he had been working.

When I chose this one as number three, I knew that it seemed slightly lame, but I'd never ridden one before; I was always too scared of the height and speed; so adding it to my bucket list meant that I could not only complete something I'd never done, but also conquer one of my fears.

Everyone was desperate to meet Edward, and he was keen to do everything he could, to help me complete my bucket list, so after my last ever 10am session, Edward and I drove to a theme park just outside of town to join Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper.

Silently staring out of the window, I thought about our relationship as Edward interlaced his free hand with mine, every so often absentmindedly tracing his thumb over my knuckle. I'd only known Edward for a mere four weeks now, and he was already meeting my closest friends. Everything was moving so quickly, but with the uncertainty over how much time we had together, the fast pace of our relationship wasn't an issue. We wanted to fit in as much as possible, just in case we weren't granted the 'happily ever after' we both desired.

This was our little whirlwind romance.

As we parked up at the theme park and walked towards the entrance, we were greeted first by Alice. Always so confident and accepting, she threw her arms around Edward, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Let me guess, you're Alice McCarty," Edward said chuckling lightly.

"How did you know?" she quizzed.

Edward looked over at me, wrapping an arm around my waist before he spoke.

"Bella has told me all about you; about all of you."

"All good things I hope!" Alice smirked, raising an eyebrow.

After all the introductions had been made, we made our way into the park. I watched as Alice and Jasper walked hand in hand in front of us, followed by Rosalie and Emmett with one arm around each-other's waist. I smiled, happy for my friends; they each had a special someone who would look after them, to make memories with, and love them unconditionally. Gazing at Edward, I bit my lip, mentally noting that I was no longer the 'fifth wheel;' I now had had my special someone, too.

As the mammoth rollercoasters came into view, my stomach sank. I peered up at each of the death traps, my eyes straining as I tried to look up at the very top of them. They were so high, some twisting to the side, others looping upside down. I began to doubt my decision about adding this to my bucket list.

_Man up, Bella_.

My inner voice took over my body, moving my feet toward the first rollercoaster Emmett had chosen. The look on his face cheered me up slightly; his expression resembled a young child on Christmas morning when they saw the colourfully wrapped presents that Santa had left them.

As the queue dwindled and it was finally our time to take our seats, Edward gave my arm a re-assuring squeeze. He could sense the nervousness radiating from my body.

"You don't have to do this, you know. We could go grab ice cream whilst the others ride the rollercoasters."

I shook my head.

As much as I wanted to back out, I didn't want to be a coward. I added this to my bucket list for a reason—to overcome my fears.

"No, I want to do this. It's number three on the list, I have to." I replied unconvincingly, before one of the attendants helped us into the seats.

Emmett and Rosalie sat in front of us, with Alice and Jasper behind.

"Let's do this! Try to have fun, Bells!" Emmett shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to turn around towards me.

I had one hand gripped on the bar around me, and the other painfully gripping Edward's hand.

My stomach began to twist into knots as the ride took off furiously. The shaking of the carriage and the rattling of the wheels made me picture scenes from the movie 'Final Destination.'

But when I finally peeled open my eyes, I wasn't scared.

As the wind blew through my hair and butterflies swirled around my stomach, I felt invincible. Every time the rollercoaster looped upside down, I let out a scream of excitement.

I felt as if I was flying, like a bird spreading its wings and soaring through the air.

The only word I could think of to describe it was _exhilarating._

Adrenaline rushed through me as I bounced off the ride. My legs shook slightly, but I glanced around the theme park, looking for another exciting target.

The group laughed as they caught the expression on my face.

"I'm guessing you loved it?" Rose commented

"It was awesome; I can't believe I was ever scared of riding those things!" I exclaimed.

"I knew you could do it." Edward whispered in my ear before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"On to the next!" shouted Emmett, startling us all as he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards another one of the many rides.

* * *

After hours of flying through the air and flipping upside down, we decided to head to the food court and grab some lunch. Whilst the guys went to order us some food, Alice, Rose and I, sat at a table

I knew as soon as we sat down, that Rose and Alice would gush over Edward. They would definitely take advantage of the few moments the three of us had alone.

"Marry him." Alice blurted out, causing Rose and me to burst into a fit of giggles.

"I know we're trying to fit in as much as possible, but it's a bit soon for marriage." I replied, spluttering it out in between laughs.

"He's so lovely, Bella. The way he looks at you makes my heart melt." Rose added.

I could feel my cheeks flush red as a smirk crept onto my face, gaining me an 'aaw' from the girls. I knew they would welcome Edward, he was a good person and everyone could see it, but it made me happy that they liked him so quickly.

Slightly tuning out of the current conversation, my eyes locked onto Edward. He was laughing as Emmett spoke rapidly and Jasper patted him on the back. I was too far away to hear what they were saying, but knowing Emmett, he would probably be telling a joke or a funny story from college. They seemed to be getting on well, which was all I wanted. I wanted him to be accepted and fit right in with our little group.

His eyes caught mine as he picked up the food and turned around, beginning to walk back towards the table. He flashed me a grin that made my heart flutter. I moved my eyes up and down his body; _he looked so damn good today. _His plain white t-shirt clung perfectly in all the right places, emphasising his toned physique and his bronze hair was more tousled and messy than usual. Staring at him, I had a sudden urge take him back to my apartment and rip that shirt off to reveal exactly what was under there,

We had only slept together once after the time I ran off; I was always too tired from my treatment or he was exhausted from a long shift at the hospital, resulting in us falling asleep without even making to the end of a movie, never mind sex.

I wanted him, right here and now. I had no idea what had suddenly come over me, but I was beginning to become all hot and bothered.

As he sat down beside me, I gently ran my hand up his thigh and squeezed lightly, gaining a small smirk and a quick glance from him.

"Would you guys mind if I called it a day? I'm feeling rather tired…" I asked the group, trying to keep a straight face as they all looked over at me.

"Are you feeling okay, Bells?" asked Emmett, slightly concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling a bit tired." I replied.

"I can take you home." Edward interjected, catching onto my plan.

I nodded at him, biting my lip to try and conceal a small smile.

After exchanging hugs and goodbyes, Edward and I quickly made our way to his car. As he was buckling his seat belt, I reached over and pulled his face towards mine, crushing my lips against his. His lips moulded into mine, following the same rhythm. I could feel the corners of his mouth twist into a smirk.

"You're a bad girl, Bella. That was a little white lie you told back there."

I pulled away from the kiss, moving just enough to peer flirtatiously up through my lashes.

"You just look so good today, I couldn't help myself." I replied, fisting his shirt and pulling him back into a kiss.

"Let's go back to mine." Was all he replied as he switched on the ignition, backing out of the car park furiously.

As soon as we walked through his door, we instantly begin to strip each other of our clothes. I squealed slightly as he picked me up and my legs wrapped around his waist. I was so engaged in kissing his lips and neck that I hadn't noticed we were already in the bedroom until I felt my skin connect with the soft sheets on the bed.

His lips made his way from my mouth, moving down my neck onto my chest. My bra was swiftly unhooked and thrown into a corner of the room before he swirled his tongue around my nipple, biting down gently causing a small moan to escape my lips.

My hands ran through his hair as he moved from my breasts and placed wet kisses down my stomach. He quickly removed my underwear and slipped two fingers inside of me. With his thumb rubbing gently against my centre, I let out moans that echoed throughout the room. The pleasure was heightened as he moved his face in between my legs, kissing the inside of my thighs before his tongue took over from his thumb. I grasped eagerly at his hair, wanting more.

"Edward.." I moaned his name as pure pleasure seared through my body.

I gasped as he wrapped his hands around the front of my thighs and pulled me towards him. Edward placed one hand at the side of my head, leaning on the mattress as he dipped his head towards me, kissing my lips eagerly as he slowly entered me.

My fingertips gently traced over his skin, moving from his arms up to his neck and down his chest. I bucked my hips forward, trying to be as close as possible to him as he continued to move in and out.

"Fuck, baby." Edward whispered against my ear, causing another small moan to shiver out of my mouth, which made him thrust faster.

I was so close to climaxing; I'd never experienced sex as pleasurable as this before. My nails dug into his back as mine arched, my head tilting backwards as I let the pleasure soar through me. My body quivered we reached our peak together.

He rolled over onto his back, pulling me on top of him as he turned. My head rested on his chest as he ran one hand through my hair and placed a delicate kiss on the top of my hair, his other arm wrapped around me.

The silence was anything but awkward; we were both satisfied and content. We were simply enjoying each-other's company now, basking in the ambience that filled the room.

Last time we slept together, we had sex. This time, we had made love. As cheesy and cliché as that sounded, it was true. He had taken the time to make sure I was being pleased before enjoying the mutual pleasure himself. There was heart-filled emotion this time, the need to be as close as possible was fierce.

There was love.

"Bella?" said Edward quietly, almost whispering.

"Mmmm?" I replied staying still and refusing to move from the position I felt so safe in right now. As if reading my mind, or possibly just basking in the genuine emotion that flowed between us, he sighed contently before stating,

"I love you."

I could feel my lips turn upwards to form a smile, revealing the dimples on my cheeks. Tilting my head upward, I locked my eyes with his.

"I love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

**It has been around two week since I last updated, but the next few chapters were difficult to write. **

**Thank you to all my lovely readers who are still here; we're really about to get ahead in this story.**

**Also, thank you to my wonderful beta reader SunflowerFran for helping me out, even if I am a little impatient :P**

**Anyway, enjoy...**

**Chapter 6**

The only word to describe my general feelings on the day ahead was apprehension.

I had two situations that I had to endure that could either turn out to be magnificent or downright dreadful.

First one on my list; meeting with my doctor.

Today was the day that I would find out how well my radiotherapy had worked. Potentially, I could be cured, although, as a pessimist at heart, I automatically believed the worst.

I tried to remain as positive as possible as I sat in my doctor's office. However, I'd spent so much time being negative; it was hard to shake the habit. Coming face to face with the man who held my fate in his hands was daunting.

There was nothing I wanted more than to have Edward here with me for support. But we both agreed that it probably wasn't the best idea to have his boss find out that I had been sleeping with the nurse who had been administering my treatment. At first, he was adamant that he was going, but I successfully managed to talk him out of it even though I desperately yearned for him to hold my hand tightly while I waited for the result.

As the doctor began to throw around medical terms that I didn't quite understand, along with percentages and averages, I found myself becoming increasingly impatient.

"Dr Snow, please, just cut to the chase."

"The treatment has worked well, although not completely." He sighed, looking genuinely disappointed.

I tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

"How so?" I choked out.

"The treatment has, shrunk what was left of the tumour significantly and stopped the cancerous cells from multiplying, although it hasn't actually eradicated them."

"Basically, the good news is the tumour has shrunk, the cancer hasn't spread to any other organs, and the treatment has stopped them from multiplying. It has also killed several other tumors, however; the bad news is that there is still a small part of the tumor, along with cancerous cells, left in your body."

I nodded towards him, trying not to meet his eyes, "Okay. What's next?"

"In all honesty, it is a waiting game. If the cells began to multiply again, or they spread to any of your other organs, then we would start a new treatment in the form of chemotherapy. I'll start you on a course of medication that has had effective results. You will also have to come see me twice a month so we are able to monitor any growths or multiplication of the cells."

I struggled to form a complete sentence.

I had no idea what to say.

Although I was fully aware that I should be taking the positives from this conversation, as always, I began to dwell solely on the negatives.

It was hard to admit, but ever since I had met Edward, I had suddenly found myself struggling to accept the inevitable. I thought that I had accepted it long ago, but being with him changed something. He suddenly gave me endless opportunities for the future that I didn't think I would ever have.

After receiving my prescription and listening to a few more medical terms I wasn't completely paying attention to, I dialled Edward's number.

He had been optimistic this morning; his positive attitude bitter-sweet. The news I had received was not the news he was hoping for, but I suppose it wasn't all bad. I didn't have the heart to see the look in his eyes if I told him face to face, so I cowardly relayed the information over the phone before ensuring he was ready for me to pick him up

Second on my list of things for today; meeting Edward's parents, Esme and Carlisle.

Hopefully this went better than my meeting this morning.

Edward could sense the anxiety radiating from my body. As we stepped out of the car, he slipped his fingers through mine and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't be nervous, they will love you."

I couldn't remember the last time I was this nervous; I thought back to my first day of treatment, and even then, I didn't remember feeling as shaky as I did today. I wasn't even this nervous earlier, prior to my meeting with the doctor.

Although I had briefly met Esme at the dance class I had taken, it was under very different circumstances. This time I would be meeting her as Edward's girlfriend.

Of course, all couples are nervous when meeting their partner's parents for the first time, however, it was obvious why I had added worry; what would they think of Edward dating someone who had limited time in this world?

I thought about the topics that could be brought up like buying a house, marriage, babies… all of which seemed impossible for us, and that's what scared me the most; disappointing them.

We strolled inside without knocking, Edward announcing our arrival with a loud call that echoed throughout the house as I quickly tried to fix my hair.

"Edward, glad you could make it, son." Said Carlisle, I presumed, as he greeted him warmly.

I was slightly taken aback when he came into view. He looked good for someone of his age; his face was pale and smooth like ivory, showing very little signs of aging. The gold colour in his hair reflected off the natural light in the room, glimmering like a shiny new coin. In all honesty, he was actually very alluring.

"You must be the lovely Isabella, I've heard so much about you." He smiled before shaking my hand firmly.

"Just Bella, and it's so nice to meet you." I replied with a small smile, still trying to keep my nerves bottled inside.

"Esme is in the kitchen, follow me."

Edward wrapped his left arm around my waist and guided me towards the kitchen, following Carlisle's lead. There was a delicious smell emanating from the rear of the house that made my mouth water; if I wasn't being guided to the kitchen, I could have followed the delectable smell with my nose right to the source.

"Kids! Welcome!" Esme exclaimed as she paused slaving over the stove to greet us.

My eyes glanced over Esme from head to toe; she was even more beautiful than I remembered. With parents like these, no wonder Edward was so attractive.

She placed a soft kiss on Edward's cheek before turning to me with a beaming smile.

"Bella, you're even more beautiful than Edward described!"

I could feel my cheeks stain red as I bit my lip nervously.

"It's lovely to meet you, Esme." I replied, trying to quickly disregard the compliment.

"Dinner is almost ready, you three should grab a seat in the dining room."

My nerves were non-existent, completely vanished by the second course of the delicious meal Esme had prepared, and through the wonderful flow of conversation.

One thing was evident; the Cullen's were the most intellectual people I had ever met. I had never been so engaged in a conversation; just like with Edward, we discussed timeless books and debated over which authors we thought were the best. Carlisle's work was brought up occasionally; although he was a doctor, he was currently taking time off to conduct several analyses and create a thesis for several university studies.

Throughout the conversation, I noted just how magical their gene pool really was. Incredible good looks and an abundance of brains? Extremely unusual yet delightfully interesting.

A sudden burst of tiredness became slightly overwhelming. Although I was still thoroughly engaged in the conversation, I gasped as I quickly glanced at the old grand clock that chimed in the corner.

Esme giggled childishly, noticing my reaction to the time, "Time flies when you're having fun."

"Indeed, I had no idea it was so late." I replied

"You're both more than welcome to stay the night, Edward has some spare clothes here, and you can borrow a pair of my pyjamas."

Edward looked over at me, silently asking for my approval. Although I was more than ready to go home, I could sense the eagerness radiating from him.

"That would be wonderful, Esme. Are you sure we're not imposing?

"Oh of course not, it would be our pleasure."

"Well, thank you. I don't want to be rude, but could I be excused to have a lie down? I still get tired very easily."

The conversation of my illness hadn't been brought up all night, and I was extremely grateful. Praying that they wouldn't mention anything, I waited for a reply.

"Edward's old room is upstairs and to the right, you can rest in there." Carlisle suggested, flashing a small smile towards me.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Edward asked, looking slightly concerned.

"No, no, stay with your parents. I'll only be an hour or so." I replied, giving him a reassuring smile.

Standing up from the table, I thanked them for the meal and their generosity.

I descended down the stairs, slightly in awe at the old, solid oak banister that wrapped around the spiral staircase. Feeling guilty for napping after dinner, I prepared an apology in my head as I walked towards the living room.

Small, hushed voices resonated from behind the door; I abruptly came to a halt as I heard my name being mentioned.

"She is a lovely girl, Edward. Intelligent, artistic, beautiful…I see why you're so enticed by her, but I'm concerned you're setting yourself up for heartbreak."

"I don't want you to be stuck in a bottomless pit of heartache and loss if she…" Esme's voice trailed off at the end.

"If she's no longer part of this world…" Said Carlisle, cutting in and finishing the sentence that Esme didn't have the heart to continue.

"…Don't you think it would be best not to be romantically involved? I'm not saying to cut her out of your life, you can still be there for her and support her but I just don't think being romantically involved with her is the smartest move."

"I love Bella, but I understand why you are both concerned about. I've had the same type of thoughts myself how-"

I couldn't listen to this anymore; before I could comprehend exactly what I was doing, I yanked open the door.

"Is that the way you feel, Edward? Because, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are the one who pursued a relationship with me. I warned you it wasn't the smartest idea, but you were all for it. I'll save you the trouble of being the one to end it."

I could feel rage spiralling throughout my body, causing me to quiver violently. My jaw was clenched and I tried to refrain from curling my fingers to create fists.

Swiftly turning on my heel, I grabbed my coat from the hook beside the door and made my way outside towards the car. In the back of my mind, I was silently grateful that we had taken my car today.

Edward pounced towards me, grabbing one arm and pulling me round to face him before I could open the car door. With confusion stained across his face, he tried to hold me still as I pushed against his chest, attempting to make my escape into the car.

"You didn't let me finish my sentence, you just automatically presumed the worst!"

"I heard what you said, Edward. Your parents were right. This whole relationship was a bad idea." I fought back the tears as I replied, attempting to conceal any signs of weakness.

"How can you say that?" his voiced cracked.

"I love you, but I guess that just isn't enough."

His grip loosened on my arm, and I took this opportunity to pull away and climb into the car. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye, therefore I focused my eyes on the view behind me as I reversed out of the driveway.

Their words were ringing in my ears, especially Edward's.

Was I missing something here?

With every fibre of my being, I had tried to fight my feelings for him, I tried to be selfless and abstain from dragging him into this ordeal; but he insisted.

_He_ had been the one who convinced me to act on my feelings towards him.

_He _said 'I love you' first.

_He _said we would deal with this together_. _

_He said he was all in._

The anger subsided as I began to drive, but only to make room from the waves of anguish and despair that suddenly took control of my body. As I peered into the rear-view mirror with tear-filled eyes, I could see Edward standing in the driveway, his silhouette becoming increasingly smaller the further I drove.

And then it hit me.

Was this the end?

I couldn't shake the gut-wrenching feeling as I came to the painful realisation …

We were over.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you once again to my wonderful beta-reader, SunflowerFran.**

**Not much to say in this A/N, so lets just cut right to it;**

**Chapter 7**

A black hole: a region of space having a gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can escape.

It seemed like the perfect description of my life. I was continuously shadowed by a black hole, sucking any good thing I encountered into an inescapable pit of eternal darkness, disallowing me to hold on to any form of happiness.

This black hole had taken my grandmother, my mother, my best friend Jacob, the love of my life, and eventually, would take me, too.

My grandmother – the most passionate, loving, family-oriented person you could ever have met – was my hero. With a 'hard as nails' attitude and venomous tongue, she fiercely protected our little family unit against the world. And when my father began to let the alcohol control his life, as well as his fists, she did not hesitate to delete him from our lives completely. My mother wasn't just physically scarred; he had left remnants of the abuse in the form of mental scars that imprinted themselves into her brain**. **So my grandmother took on the role of parent and counsellor. She fought to pull us from the emotional damage my father had left behind, and eventually succeeded. I'm not a very religious person by any means, but when my grandmother met her demise from the indestructible disease known as cancer and stole her from us, I began to believe in the over-used phrase 'God only takes the best.'

Somehow, her death sent a bolt of energy through my mother; she began to embody everything my grandmother had been. She became my rock; my best friend, my protector, my advisor, my home. It was her and me against the world. But she was taken from me at the hands of that merciless disease that had already tainted our lives, which left me with nothing but a gaping hole in my heart that never seemed to heal.

One thing my grandmother and mother did leave behind was their strength, courage and independence. I sought comfort in the fact that they had taught me how to be the best person I could be, and that helped me to embody the image they both had formed.

That strength, courage and independence got me through the remainder of my senior year of high school and the adjustment of living with Billy and Jacob Black. They were close friends of our family, and after the passing of my nearest and dearest, they didn't think twice about taking me in. Billy had always been somewhat of a father figure, and I had always seen Jacob as a brother, so although my heart still yearned for the two most important women in my life, I was able to eventually adjust; I felt at home.

My weekdays were spent in a below-average public school with notes being exchanged between Jacob and me during class and books being explored during lunches. As a notorious bookworm and dedicated scholar, I enjoyed being in school; however**,** my weekends were an escape to another world. Jake & I would spend the weekends discovering the areas around us; we would take his bike on road trips, the gang following behind in their beat up trucks, driving as far and fast as we wanted before picking a spot to sleep under the stars. The motorcycle was our freedom, my freedom… until it turned into my destroyer.

The motorcycle was the reason another person was taken from me; again sucked into the black hole that refused to leave my shadow. On a rare occasion I hadn't taken advantage of our exploration weekends, Jacob was the victim of a horrific accident. With the stomach flu making its rounds, I had missed a few days of school and didn't feel up to leaving my bed to explore with Jacob and the guys. He had, of course, insisted on staying to nurse me back to health; however, I was eventually able to encourage him to go.

At the time, I wasn't aware that it was the worst thing I could have done.

In my mind, I was enabling him to enjoy his weekend before school claimed most of our awakened hours during the week.

However, it turned out that I had sent him to his death.

Some stupid kids were too busy passing around a joint to notice him on the road, and in return, ran him completely off the road, which resulted in the loss of my best friend.

When the time came for me to follow life's natural course and move away to college, I vowed this would be a new beginning; it was an opportunity to wipe the slate clean, leave all the hurt and despair behind, and try to move on with my life. My ambition was to use the time to repair and rebuild… Create new memories and friends, which is exactly what I was able to do. I was fortunate enough to create life-lasting bonds with four of the most unique people I had ever encountered; Alice, Emmett, Rosalie & Jasper. Alice and I, both in our freshman year, bonded quickly. Although completely different in every possible way, we became joined at the hip. Emmett was a year ahead, which enabled us to attend the 'cool' parties, and form a strong bond with his girlfriend and best friend, twins; Rose & Jasper.

Although completely morbid, I knew that four, carefreeyears at college would come at a price; I had the time of my life, completing every quest I had set out to conquer and in the world of Isabella Swan that was something unheard of.

And I was right.

A year after college, I had met my fate in the form of a lump on my breast.

It was inevitable, but I never expected it to happen so soon. It was just the way my cruel fortune worked; my happiness had expired and it was time for me to pay the price.

Until I met Edward.

That man … That incredible human being gave me hope.

Being around him helped me to see the good again. After I was diagnosed, I thought I'd never experience any form of happiness again, but I was wrong. He changed that; he changed _me._ Of course, the idea of us together had terrified me in the beginning; despite all my best efforts, I was unable to exterminate the feelings for him that were uncontrollably trying to take over my mind and body. Although we had only known each other for a matter of months, I loved him irrevocably. As cliché as it sounded, I felt like we were _meant_ to be together for the rest of my time in this world.

His words soothed my soul,

His touch set my body on fire,

His lips melted my heart…

Never in my life had someone stolen my heart the way he had. Edward blessed me with moments that made me forget about the disease that was determined to destroy me; he helped make my time left, meaningful and enjoyable.

But of course, that had now come to an inevitable end.

For two weeks, I had let my soul die away like the battery on my phone.

Edward's desperate attempts to 'explain' what had happened were pointless; both his words and those of his parents had shattered my heart. It didn't matter that what they had said was true; they still burned my brain like a branding iron.

Not once did I answer the phone,

Reply to a message,

Or open the door.

I couldn't face him after the incident at his parents' home.

My friends' attempts at comforting me and cheering me up were appreciated; however, they were useless.

It wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted _him_.

As the strong, independent woman I was taught to be, I tried my best to move forward, to keep going. I had survived without him in my life before, and I could do it again.

However, that's all it felt like… _Surviving_.

With him, I felt as if I was **… **_Living_.

Ironic, really, considering my condition— but true all the same.

I had tried my best to put my reclusiveness to good use and work on the novel I had been writing before I was diagnosed. It was always my dream to become a respected author; books had always been a way for me to escape the pain, and I wanted to create a book that could do the same for someone else.

After hours of scrawling pen across paper, Emmett and Rosalie interrupted me.

"I really wish I hadn't given you guys a key." I muttered, setting my pen down and peering over in their direction.

"Well, you did, so suck it up and get dressed. You're coming with us." Rosalie snapped back, relinquishing her 'nice' attitude and taking the direct approach.

"I don't want to leave the house today, I'm busy." I replied

"Busy with what?" Emmett asked.

"Who cares what she's busy with; Bella Swan, if you don't get showered and dressed right now, I'll take you into the bathroom and do it myself. We're not taking no for answer."

"Rose, I-"

"I'm serious. If you don't get changed, we're taking you how you are. We'll pick you up, and force you into the car. Why do you think I brought Emmett up with me?" Her words were almost jumbled together as she spoke rapidly, her increasing impatience evident.

"I'm the muscle." Emmett grinned, childishly.

Shaking my head in an attempt to disregard her previous statement, I picked up my pen and began to scrawl once again across the paper in front of me.

"NOW." Her voice was almost venomous.

With my current mood, I didn't have the energy to protest, so yet again, I put my pen aside and scurried towards the bathroom, grabbing a fresh change of clothes on my way.

* * *

"Where are we going?" I mumbled, staring out of the car window absentmindedly.

Rose didn't reply, but I caught a small smirk creep on to her face as I glanced towards the rear-view mirror.

The car journey seemed to be never-ending and my eyes struggled to stay open. As we pulled up to an empty park just outside of town, I was suddenly wide-awake as I took in the monstrosity of primary colours taking over the evergreen grass.

I was confused at first as I got out of the car and walked towards it, trying to take in what was in front of me, but then realisation hit me.

_Number 4 – Ride in a hot air balloon_

"Number four on my list." I mumbled.

As I was about to thank my friends for reminding me about my list, a mess of bronzed hair walked towards us from behind the balloon.

I froze; my body suddenly completely incapacitated.

My shattered heart began to ache, the splinters from the remnants pricking my insides. Before I could react, I heard the engine of Emmett's truck and the screech of the tires as they drove away. My eyes flickered towards it as it sped away, and then returned to glare at Edward.

This was a fucking set-up

Somehow they thought luring me to Edward was a good idea. Although it was with the best intentions, I couldn't be grateful. Seeing him in front of me hurt too much.

"Baby…" Edward's soft voice sent shivers down my spine.

I could hear the desperation in his voice, causing my eyes to well. I fought back the tears, not wanting him to see me cry, not wanting to look weak. Trying my best to put up a front and continue with a false bravado, I took a step forward.

"So what was the plan? They bring me here, we say sorry and then just float away in a giant fucking balloon?"

"Come with me, please." He replied, disregarding my statement that clearly cut him as he held his hand out in front of him.

Inhaling sharply, I shook my head. My heart willed me to run into his arms, but my head told me to stay put.

His words from _that_ night rang furiously in my mind, reminding me why it was best to stay where I was.

"Why? I thought you agreed with your parents? You agreed that being with me was a bad idea."

"That's not-"

"I heard what you said! Don't lie to me!" I screamed; my throat stinging slightly at the increased level of my voice.

"No, you've got the wrong idea. You didn't stick around long enough to hear what I was about to say!" He raised his voice in retaliation, taking a few careful steps towards me.

"I know what I heard." I replied, my voice breaking as I was no longer able to fight back the tears.

He rushed forward and pulled me into his arms. I bawled my fists up and hit his chest, trying to push away. But he gripped me so tight, holding me as close as he possibly could.

"If you had let me finish, you'd have heard me say that I've had those types of thoughts, however, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I'd rather spend a few months or a few years with you, than a lifetime with someone else. I don't care how much time we have together, as long as that's how we spend it; _together_. There's no-one I'd rather be with, Bella."

As I heard those words, the flood of tears seemed unstoppable and instead of trying to push away from him, I let him hold me in arms.

"But they were still right in what they said…"

"No, they were voicing their concerns. What's right is us being together."

"I'm so sorry. I just- you're too good to be true, I guess I was just waiting for something bad to happen with us." I choked out in between sobs.

"I love you, Isabella Swan." He murmured, moving one arm upwards to stroke my hair.

"I love you so much." I replied.

He slipped one finger under my chin and tilted my head upwards,placing a soft kiss on my lips. But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to somehow portray just how sorry I was through one kiss, so I latched one hand through his hair and crushed my lips against his, not daring to pull away.

Edward broke from the kiss first, interlacing his fingers with mine and pulling me towards the hot air balloon.

"You remembered the next item on my list…" I muttered.

"I thought this would be an excellent way to apologise." He chuckled slightly.

He helped me inside where I found two bouquets of flowers and a picnic basket.

"Two bouquets?" I quizzed, peering up at him as he prepared the balloon for 'takeoff.'

"One is from Carlisle and Esme; they're blaming themselves for what happened. They loved you, you know…"

"… They're concerned about their son. I understand, Edward." I interjected, smiling silentlyand tilting down to smell the flowers.

"They're both beautiful." I commented.

"Not as beautiful as you." He replied, making me blush.

And almost like magic, a weight was somehow instantly lifted. Not only from my shoulders, but also from my heart. My heart began to mould itself back together, his words and his presence acting like glue.

As we began floating through the air, he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms.

Smiling contently, I silently thanked Rose & Emmett, noting that I would have to call tomorrow and give them a massive thank you.

However, right now I wanted to enjoy this moment with Edward.

Number 4 on my list was total bliss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Important A/N: This is the last chapter I will be posting for 3 weeks; I'm going away to Thailand on Friday for a few weeks so I wont have time to update. Please stick with this story, it'll be worth it.**

**Also, thank you to my beta reader, SunflowerFran for her patience & help.**

**Chapter 8 **

"You shouldn't be feeling this rough. You should be feeling a lot stronger now that the radiotherapy is finished and your body has adapted to the medication." Edward muttered as he sat a glass of water beside my bed before climbing in beside me.

"We've had a few, pretty busy weeks; I haven't had time to rest with everything that's happened. I'll probably feel better after a few days of rest." I replied, trying my best to make him feel at ease.

The past two weeks had been strange; I had been coping well with the side effects of the treatment, learning to deal with the tiredness and to flat-out ignore the dull pain that circulated through my right side. And once my treatment had finished, the side effects began to fade away. However, for some reason, I became lethargic and lifeless over the past two weeks, almost resembling a damn corpse. I started throwing up in the mornings, a few days ago, and my appetite has been almost non-existent. Of course, I was worried, and I knew Edward was too, although he had a tendency to keep all his worries to himself. I, however, tried to remain optimistic, probably for the first time since I was diagnosed.

With furrowed brows and a tense face, he began to stroke the top of my hair.

"As a nurse, I really should have made you rest more. Maybe we did too much, too quickly."

"Don't start blaming yourself; I _needed_ to do those things, I needed to continue marking off each number on the list."

"You shouldn't be throwing up though, and the tiredness really should have subsided by now. I think it's best we take you to the hospital and get you checked out, love."

"That really isn't necessary; all I need to do is rest."

"But I really think you need-"

I cut him off by placing my index finger on his soft lips, "What I need, is for you to let me fall asleep with your arms wrapped around me, okay?"

He sighed, but nodded his head before wrapping his arms around me.

I felt so content lying there in his arms; able to escape to our own little world filled with pure bliss; for a few moments, I could forget about the cancer and my potential demise. All I could think about was being there with him.

He began to hum a lullaby, and instantly I recognised the song to be one he had been composing. Every so often, he would pause and kiss the top of my hair or pull me just a little closer to him.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard him mutter a quiet 'I love you.'

However, before sleep could take me, the horribly nauseating feeling returned and my stomach began to lurch as vomit rose up towards my throat.

I tried to move as quickly as possible, but with my overwhelming lethargy holding me down, I only made it as far as the side of the bed.

Two strong arms picked me up and swiftly steered me away from the pool of vomitthat had seeped onto the floor, and into the en-suite bathroom. As my stomach emptied itself through my mouth, Edward clasped my hair out of the way and soothingly rubbed my back in circular motions.

"It's okay, my love. I'm here." He cooed softly.

Once my stomach had finally finished regurgitating the little content it held, I leaned back towards Edward, sliding in between his legs and resting the back of my head against his chest. His arms slithered around me, holding me close but being careful not to put too much pressure on my delicate stomach.

"If this continues, I'm taking you to the hospital. I can't keep allowing you to sit here and suffer." He muttered.

"Let's go back to bed, I'm so tired." I replied, trying to disregard his previous statement.

In all honesty, I knew that I should be taking a trip to the hospital, but I was scared; if this was a sign that the cancer was becoming more aggressive or spreading throughout my body, I didn't want to know. I didn't want to be in a position where the nurse or doctor look at you with sorrowful eyes and begin their sentence with "I'm sorry but…"

I couldn't handle that right now.

I couldn't handle any more bad news.

As I gripped the toilet bowl to steady myself in an attempt to stand, I felt my legs give way and I crashed towards the cold white tiles of the bathroom floor.

"Bella!?" Edward's strained voice was the last thing I heard before black spots impaired my vision and I was sucked into the darkness.

* * *

**EPOV**

Pacing.

It was all I could do; I was unable to sit still or focus on anything other than Bella.

My heart was slamming so rapidly against my chest, I believed that it was genuinely about to escape from my body, if it was medically possible.

I should have demanded that she be admitted to hospital as soon as the vomiting and tiredness began, but she was so adamant that she was okay, I didn't want to force her.

Typical Bella, always so stubborn.

My hands moved over my face and through my hair as I sat down and hung my head between my legs, resting my elbows on my thighs. I had spent so much time at this hospital, but I wasn't use to being on the receiving end of the bad news.

I guess this is how the families of my patients must feel as they wait for me to deliver the fate of their loved ones.

The anxiety was overwhelming.

I almost couldn't take it.

_I should have taken her to the hospital sooner._

I was snapped out of my guilty thoughts as I heard a familiar voice echo throughout the hallway.

"Edward? Edward, where is she?"

My eyes locked onto Alice as I matched the panic-stricken voice to the expression on her face. It was mirroring mine. Following swiftly behind were Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, all with the exact same expression.

"I don't know, they won't tell me anything. I thought they would have considering I fucking work here." I replied aggressively.

My aggression was misdirected at Alice; I pulled her in for a hug, trying to apologise and comfort her at the same time.

"What happened?" Emmett piped up from behind Alice.

"She collapsed. She hasn't been feeling well for a while. I tried to take her to the hospital, but she didn't want to go. I should have taken-" I began to mumble incoherently, aware that I was slowly going crazy from sheer panic and frustration.

Rosalie pulled me back towards the chair I had been sitting inand placed one arm around my shoulder, mumbling something quietly in an attempt to calm me.

"If anything happens to her.

I won't...

I can't…"

I briefly met Emmett's eyes before he looked away, trying to hide the tears that began to spill over the rimof his bottom lids.

Jasper took him to the side, placing a hand on each of Emmett's shoulders, trying his best to comfort him whilst remaining calm and composed himself.

Time dragged by slowly;

Seconds felt like minutes

Minutes felt like hours

Hours felt like days…

As every minute passed, my heart shattered into tinier pieces. Not knowing what was happening was the worst part of this whole situation.

After the twelfth cup of bland coffee given to me by Rose from one of the budget machines in the hospital, a young brunette nurse appeared in front of us.

"I'm looking for relations to Miss Bella Swan?" a young nurse who I didn't recognise peered around the group as she clutched a chart in her hand, waiting for someone to respond.

We all rose to our feet instantly, standing to attention as we braced ourselves for the worst.

I took a step forward.

For some reason, I struggled to form a sentence; the words sticking in my throat.

"I'm her partner."

The nurse pointed towards Rosalie, Alice, Emmett & Jasper.

"I can't discuss Miss Swan's details if they're not-"

"We're family." Emmett piped up, irritably.

"Please tell us what's going on." I snapped.

She paused, apparently debating whether or not to provide me with details in front of the others. I nodded my head towards her before she cleared her throat, about to speak.

"Can we see her?" Rose interjected quietly, as if she was almost scared to ask.

Ignoring Rosalie's request, she continued. "Based on the information you gave us when she was admitted, we weren't entirely sure what was wrong. As you said earlier, there should be no continuous side effects from the radiation treatment, and the vomiting isn't typical."

_Is the cancer more aggressive?  
Is this the beginning of the end?  
Is she going to-?_

"To put your mind at ease, the test results showed that the medication given to Miss Swan post radiotherapy is doing its job. Our fear was that the cancer was becoming more aggressive or had begun spreading to her other organs, however that is not the case."

"After completion of our initial assessment, and coming up empty, we ran various other labs and now have conclusive results; an explanation for the symptoms she has been experiencing."

She paused before continuing, glancing down at the chart before looking back up at us and meeting my eyes.

The silence was painful.

I couldn't bare it.

If it wasn't the cancer, then what was wrong with my beautiful Bella?

Just then, the nurse uttered the most amazingly unexpected words ever heard, and we all had our answer…

"Miss Swan is pregnant."


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm back!**

Thailand was amazing, but I'm now back to reality.

Can I just say how happy I am with the response I'm recieving with regards to this fanfic? I expected a lot of you to just forget about it whilst I was away but I have returned to find a ton of reviews, favourites, follows and another 2,000 views.  
**I can't thank you all enough, seriously.**

For those of you who have been asking about the **next chapters**, they are currently being looked over & will be sent to my lovely beta-reader **SunflowerFran** tonight, so they should be **uploaded this week**.

Again, thank you.

Ash


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